HERPES

How do I tell my 2nd husband that I have herpes?

Dear Dr. Amy:

I have a problem. I discovered a sore about a year ago and have gone to my obgyn to discover that based on tests taken the virus does not show. I know I have it due to the symptoms. I find myself very depressed and extremely worried. This is my second marriage and finally found my true soul mate. We have been together for 5 years and married 9 months. I am 35 yrs of age and have been wanting a baby for a LONG TIME. We are trying now and I want to tell my husband but I’m so afraid of him not loving me or thinking I am some type of whore. I’m sure I got this from my ex-husband. Any thought on what to do? Do I tell him?
Scared and confused

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Dr. Amy’s Response:

Dear Scared and confused,

First of all, you may want to get another test since it has been one year since your last test to confirm a diagnosis. Also, have you been taking precautions such as condom use with your partner to reduce chances of infecting him?

Keeping a secret, such as possibly having herpes, is bound to make you depressed, worried and not as close to your spouse. If he is truely your soul mate, he may already sense there’s something troubling you. If you are ready to have a baby together, you both need to know how herpes (if you do have it) will affect child birth. Try finding an obgyn that you feel comfortable with in helping you with the concerns of pregnancy and symptoms you are experiencing.

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