Any ideas on how to tell a partner that I have herpes?

Dear Dr. Amy:

I am a 24 year old female. I have recently started seeing someone and I have never had to tell a person that I have Herpes. I am very scared. I can barely even say the word. I don’t know how to tell him. I have absolutely no intentions or never would have sex without telling him. I even find myself pulling away because of this. I don’t know when and how to tell him. I would like to know if you have any suggestions on this difficult and embarrassing issue.
Thank you.

Dr. Amy’s Response:

You are not alone. Many people feel embarrassed and scared about telling their partner or anyone about having herpes. Sometimes, practicing how and what you would say helps you to feel more comfortable. Try saying the words out loud to yourself or maybe a close friend.

As your relationship develops, your level of sharing intimate details about yourselves will also increase, making exchange of information more natural. It sounds like you will need to discuss this soon, because your partner may misinterpret your “pulling away” as an indication that you don’t like him.


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