HERPES

Can masturbation lead to impotence?

Dear Dr. Amy:

 My age 26 yrs My problem: I have started masturbating at the age of 19. I used to enjoy it when I was doing it. But for a few days I have a weak erection and there is an immense fear in my mind that I did a wrong thing in life and I cannot get back to normal position. How do I get rid of this fear and come back to normal position. Is it merely enough to stop masturbation to come back to normal condition? Sexologists always say most sex related problems can be curable including impotence. Is it true?

I have also get some doubts: 1) How much/many times can anybody have sex? 2) I have lost interest in masturbating/ sex because of guilty feeling and also have a weak erection. Am I curable? Would you please reply to this mail? Will god or doctor give me second chance in my life? Please advise.
With regards, B

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Dr. Amy’s Response:

 Dear B: 
The question I would wonder about is, after 7 years of masturbating, you are no longer enjoying what it is that you are doing. You mentioned that from a few days ago you had a weak erection and an immense fear that you were doing something wrong. Again, I would really take a look at what has gone on recently that is giving you the fear that you have done something wrong. Now, I can’t tell from your letter, but if this coincides with a herpes outbreak, then that could be the source of why you are having this fear that you have done something wrong. But, without that information, I can’t give you an accurate answer.

Certainly, if you are experiencing fear, then being able to have an erection is going to be affected by that. Having anxious thoughts, and not having sexy thoughts, is going to influence your desire as well as your ability to activate your sexual response.

The other question, when you said you that you could not get back to normal position, I am, once more, not quite sure what you mean. If you are saying that your penis is not in a correct position or there has been some abnormal bending of your penis, then you definitely need to go to an urologist to see if that is indicative of a systemic disorder. The penis will very often have a bend to it, but if there as been a marked change in the position, or you are having any pain associated with the bend, then you will want to see a doctor to rule out what could be symptomatic of something else like Perroni’s Disease. That’s a recommendation, but, as I stated earlier, I’m not quite sure exactly what your problem is from your description.

If medically that does not clear up what your fear is, then I do suggest that you speak with a sexologist. These professionals can help you understand why masturbating is now bringing you fear and different kinds of emotions that are arising.

Your next inquiry was about sexual related problems being curable. Many times, what sexologists will do, is yes, work with the specific problem that the person is having. But, a lot of times, there’s also that preconceived notion where people have a certain set idea about how they are supposed to be performing sexually and what things are supposed to be like. There is a certain base of comparison of normalcy that people very often are carrying around with them. Many times it’s a matter of really taking a look at what sex means to you, and being able to work with your goals and your attitudes, and really what it is that you are seeking from a sexual experience. I see this as being more important, dealing more directly with the total person, instead of separating the person into having a specific sexual problem.

You mention as well, that you have some doubts. Having doubts about sexual information is not surprising, considering that there are limited resources for really getting accurate information. Our basic resource for the posture taken on what we think is normal comes from what we hear, what people say, and what we read in magazines. As a result, it is so very important that you seek correct information from those who are professionals. This would be a great step in the right direction for you.

You also ask how many times anybody can have sex. Lucky for us, the body does not contain a limited supply of orgasms. It’s not a matter that you are going to burn your body out by having too much sex. You may find that certain types of activities that are repeated frequently, or over prolonged periods of time, such as basic friction, can cause discomfort. If that is the case, there are many other types of sexual activities that a body can engage in, which are pleasurable. So if there is any discomfort, pay attention to what type of activity is going on, as well as using proper lubricants and those kinds of products. Having discomfort is not going to add to your pleasure.

In your final question, you express your lack of interest in masturbating and sex. You have pretty well defined that it is because of the guilty feelings you are having, and the weak erection. What I can conclude from your letter, is that probably, these are very much connected. These types of guilty feelings are not conducive for your body to respond sexually. So, if it is determined that this is not a medical problem, I highly recommend that you speak with a sexologist and find out what has changed for you. It’s probably something recent, because you’re describing no difficulties for the last 7 years. Again, without a history, that’s not something that can be determined. But since this is a new problem for you, the sooner you take care of it, the better it will be. Otherwise, you can cause more anxiety and greater apprehension.

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