My husband won’t have sexual contact with me

Dear Dr. Rob:

I have just been diagnosed with herpes. I am 41 and in a
faithful marriage. We are devastated and don`t know how
to proceed. The small outbreak happened in my butt crack.
I read a lot, but am not sure what applies, since all of the
literature deals with vaginal/penile outbreaks. My husband
seems hesitant to kiss me and will not allow me to have any
kind of sexual contact with him (i.e.: I wanted to perform
oral on him, and he said no). He has not yet been tested,
but I am going to ask to get tested. Please help us understand
how to proceed with butt crack herpes.

Dr Rob’s Response:

Dear S,

You should both be tested. Most herpes lesions do occur
in the genital tract but can appear anywhere in the Perineal
or lower body area. I cannot state what kind of sex would
be safe until the test results have been returned. If you
choose to, please email again and I will answer your
questions further.


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