HERPES

She has genital herpes, Can we still have oral sex?

Dear Dr. Erica

I have been dating a woman, and we had the “sex talk” finally. She told me that she has herpes and I’m totally bummed. I really like her a lot, but me performing oral sex on my partner is very important and exciting to me. I don`t want to use dental dams. Can you take any medications as a preemptive measure? And is it possible to lead a normal sex life while just keeping a very close eye on the area for possible outbreaks?
Wanting oral sex

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Dr. Erica’s Response:

Dear wanting Oral Sex:

A new drug has been advertised, Valtrex, but it probably just helps with symptoms. You can ask your doctor about it. However, there is not yet a drug you can take nor is there a vaccine available to immunize you against the herpes virus. So, you need to decide what is most important to you. If oral sex is a high priority for you, and you risk the possibility of contracting herpes by participating in this desired behavior with this woman, then perhaps it is time for you to end this relationship. Even if there are no obvious symptoms, no break out of a rash, the herpes virus can still be contagious. You will have to decide how much this particular woman means to you. If she is so special that you feel she can never be replaced, then this may be something you have to live with. But if you are not that taken with her, or if your relationship is just starting to get close, it may be advisable for you to leave before you get too emotionally involved. The choice is yours.

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