Talk About Herpes | Herpes for Eleven Years

Well I have had this for almost eleven years. I went into denial about it and still dated people that I met normaly and waited to tell them later when we were going to have sex. To my surprise they accepted it. But then when I count the actual number of relatonships I have been in, it`s not many. Then I tried the dating sites and I was disappointed to find such a low level of people that are actually on them. You can`t get a good feeling from just a picture. I became very depressed with the small limited pool of people that I had to choose from. I tried moving to a bigger city to have more of a selection but I was rather disapointed with the few guys that I chose. Then I felt guilty because I was not giving them a chance, but then I realize that everyone has their preference and you shouldn`t settle because that hurts the person you`re settling for. Then I started doing some really nasty things. I dated a man that took me out and treated me like gold and in the heat of the moment I didn`t say anything about it. I just waited till we were done and told him to shower. I did this with a few people. They never got it I had believed because of the showering, but then I realized that they may just not be having any symptoms. I was lying to myself and putting their well being in jepardy. Besides, how long could I keep up the lie anyway. They would find it strange after a while that they always had to shower and they would figure it out eventually. So now I ended it with a man that I like very much and he doesn`t know why. He`s hurt but I don`t want him to live like I have. I went back to the dating sites to disapoint my self even further. I am attractive and smart but I have baggage, and now criminal baggage too. I feel that I am a pathological liar, deciever, and I know that I would never had been this way if it was not for catching this. This situation is terrible and I don`t know what to do. There is little funding for a cure and I feel that if the scientists don`t help us, more people are going to resort to the things that I have done. I believe many people do this and don`t talk about it. That`s how I contracted it anyway, from someone that couldn`t tell me. Not everyone is that strong and when you have a man that really wants sex bad, and so do you, you might just give it to him to escape the situation all together. We are only human with the same needs as everyone else. [47030]

Gender: F
Age: 29
Married: N
State: NV
Country: USA


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