HERPES

Talk About Herpes | Outbreak around my Period

Experience…
I found out several years AFTER my divorce that I had herpes…and my ex-husband had been the only man I`d ever had sex with. (I`m certainly he was faithful. He must have contracted it before we met, though he has never had symptoms.) Since I was raising a child alone, I never had much time for dating anyway. After 6+ years of celibacy, I had a long-term relationship with a man who accepted the herpes and didn`t even insist on protection. Looking back, I think we were both naive about that, though I don`t think I ever transmitted the virus to him. Fast forward another 10 years and after being tired of celibacy, I decided I didn`t have to wait for "Mr. Right" but instead could just have sex for fun (not out of control fun, but not necessarily in a committed relationship). I made the mistake of not telling two partners ahead of time and when they found out (we hadn`t used protection), they freaked out. That said, they did calm down after a couple weeks and though I never had sex with either one of them again, I`m not so sure they wouldn`t have if given the chance. After them, I decided I HAD to tell any future partner, serious or not. The next time did not go so well. I thought this was someone who could be long-term, but his fear of getting herpes apparently trumped his interest in me. Ditto for the next (and much younger) guy…actually, what`s got him freaked out (happening now) is that we had oral sex and he`s afraid I transmitted the virus to him that way. (I`ve sent him all sorts of research showing how rare that is, but doesn`t seem to be helping.) I don`t want to be celibate again, but the rejection is so much worse that living with the virus in the first place! (I use suppressive therapy and have for years…every time I go off it, I get an outbreak around my next period or the next time I get a cold, even though my first outbreak was over 15 years ago. Not worth taking the chance.) [47255]

Gender: F
Age: 47
Married: N
State: PA
Country: USA

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